Prose in retrospect.

2. 23. 15 //  10:36AM. 

No one saw it coming. It came to all as a shock. Yes, these are things that we think about. But you have to accept the curve balls that life throws at you and confront those round things. Come to terms with yourself and your feelings. Accept the events and not over analyze a situation. 

Why, you may say? It's easier said than done, we all say. Well. Yes, you're right. But- Life is hard as it is, don't make it harder on you.

You my think, well, maybe an escape to the ocean will be the answer. Well, let me tell you, that the blue of the ocean now penetrates in my mind the color of his soul. That the soft breeze makes me think of his sweet kisses. That when I look up at the spectacle up there, I can't help but wonder why it all had to happen this way. 

Attempts to vanish, to escape, to let go. Attempts, are all they are. 

As one cannot escape a feeling or circumstances. After all we are humans.

It is that horrible feeling that goes from your stomach to the top of your throat that as a result creates human rain. But don't suppress that rain- let it stream down, as it's a necessary evil. 

Walking the crowded streets invaded by twosomes, hard it is, but you must open your heart, look up be thankful, thankful for what it was, what you learned, what you gained, and believe that things come and go for a real purpose, for a good reason, like the cold waves approaching my feet, which then return home. 

 

La vie quotidienne

"This is how it always ends.
With death. But first there was life. Hidden beneath the blah, blah, blah.   It is all settled beneath the chitter chatter and the noise.
Silence and sentiment.
Emotion and fear.
The haggard, inconstant flashes of beauty.
And then the wretched squalor and miserable humanity.
All buried under the cover of the embarrassment of being in the world … blah, blah, blah.

It’s just a trick. It’s just a trick." 

 

- from Paolo Sorrentino’s THE GREAT BEAUTY. 

 

 

 

Succinct Tenderness

Disregard the date. This was in fact written mid September, 2015. 

Luxembourg jardin, Paris, France
Jazz playing. Kids laughing. Sirens ringing.i hear the water from the fountain.

The sun shining so bright. Perfect white and grey clouds hovering over on the crayola blue sky.
Greens and bright reds.

Toy sailing boats color the laguna blue water of the fountain.

And here I am.
Listening to myself. My thoughts. It's peace at its fullest. The most blissful feeling. And I can hear happiness, in my heart. Tears stroll down my cheeks. Like the light rain from a few nights ago. Cleansing me and bringing life to where there was none. 

I think I'm in a french film. In color. Dazzling- glaring- my heart shining, and I am smiling. 

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